we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
