Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
