Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
