So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
