rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
