He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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