the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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