Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
