White coat. Heels.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
