WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
