Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
