its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
did i walk over a car last night?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm just crazy horny about you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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