her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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