ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you're hired as official boob wrangler
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
