Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
