so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
