Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize