Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
