Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
