at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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