I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
