True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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