I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
