He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize