Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
