She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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