i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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