areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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