Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
