Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
