that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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