if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
