Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
