I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
