If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
