is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize