I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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