Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
