Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
