do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
