the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's blow job season.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
