I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it's not cheating when I paid for it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
