Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it's like iHOP with fire
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize