my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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