I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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