Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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