Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
