is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
