whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Are my feet made of real feet?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize