Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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