Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize