The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
