I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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