I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize