She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
