The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
